Friday, October 21, 2011

Monk-ism

  Do you remember that show, Monk?  It was about a detective who had some major OCD issues?  Well, it seems my son, The Boy, has developed some Monk-like behavior. We have to take stairs to get to our place and every time we come up the stairs, if he doesn't get to touch every single rail on the banister, he has a serious melt down.  He's developmentally disabled with some major speech development. The way he talks now is about 6-9 months behind where he should be for his age (3 is 2 weeks). He's also got some other issues, including being at risk for being diagnosed as autistic later on.  


  This rail thing is new. Yeah, he's always liked to touch each of the rails, but it was never a huge issue if he didn't get to touch them all. This week it's gotten worse. I don't normally have an issue with him touching the rails as we climb, except for when we get to the landing before completing the stairs.  That railing is where trouble likes to hide.  It's got as many rails as either of the actual stair parts, and he seems to slow down, like he wants to savor the landing.  Today, I was holding his hand and had some groceries in my other hand.  When I wouldn't let him touch all the rails, he grabbed on to the first one on the second part of the stairs and held on with all his strength (which is quite substantial for his age) while we kept climbing.  About 3 stairs up, his arm completely straight, and down he went, butt on the stairs, almost pulling me down with him.


  He's got a few other things, routines he has to do.  I'm not sure if this is all a part of some bigger diagnosis (like the possibility of autism) or if he's got a bunch of smaller things going on (ADHD, OCD, who knows what else).  It's frustrating.  I've got a daughter who turns 5 in 3 weeks.  Out of the 2 of them, I honestly expected developmental problems from her.  She was 5 weeks early and under 4 lbs at birth.  I EXPECTED things like this with her, was warned over and over that it was a possibility by doctors.  The Boy was born full term, no complications during pregnancy or birth. 


 I'm not going to lie, it's very trying, frustrating, and a bit lonely. The Boy doesn't respond to discipline, nothing that we've tried.  So I've got 2 kids that I have to discipline in separate ways. I try not to make a big deal out of the differences, but there are some. The Boy may be almost 3, but a lot of his behavior is that of a 2 year old. So while I know how I handled The Girl when she was 3, I have to do it differently with The Boy.  What works for one doesn't work for the other.


 On top of all this, right now I'm a stay at home mom, so I get no breaks, except for maybe once every 2 months, or so. In 3 days, I'll register for classes for Spring semester. I'm looking forward to this is so many different ways. Not only does it keep me on the path to one day being a nurse on the labor and delivery unity (fingers crossed), but it will give me about 12 hours to myself each week.  Maybe then I'll be able to start reclaiming some of my sanity.


  By now, I've talked your ear off, I'm sure, so I'll save the rest for another post.